Eudora, A rose by any other name

I just finished re-reading a wonderful novel, The Optimist’s Daughter"
by one of my favorite authors, Eudora Welty.
You may or may not know that the e-mail program of the same name, was indeed coined "Eudora" in her honor.

This is a woman who’s words opened worlds to me when I was young. You could read anything Eudora wrote, and she would amaze you ...she was one of my first loves when it came to authors.

I can remember the first thing of hers I read, a short story called "Powerhouse". It was a about a musician. I was 8 and I was at the library. ( Oh I loved the library ..the muffled sound of it, the excitement of what I might find, even the smell of books ....it is still a most evocative perfume to me.)
I picked this book off of a table, opened it up, And the title "POWERHOUSE" jumped out and begged me to keep reading....so I started to read. It was like being frozen in place by this woman so that I would concentrate on every word she wanted to tell me.

I remember that I was shocked that she used the words "nigger" and "jew" and "monkey" in referring to characters in her story. I was more than shocked. I had been taught that those were worse than swear words, that only terrible people called other people by those kinds of names. (Sometimes 8 year olds can be naive and sadly, wordly all at the same time.)

My first thought in the opening pages was that she was nasty for using these
names. That she hated these people, that she was prejudiced. I was
confused, and a bit scared I was reading something I shouldn’t be
reading. Yet I didn’t want to ask anyone. I was afraid whoever I asked
would take the book away and tell me I shouldn’t be reading this. So I found a hidden corner to sit down, (I had been frozen, standing up till then) and I started the story over to see if I had misunderstood what she had written or if she really was that mean, or if it maybe WAS "too old for me" (I hated those words).

And you know, after a bit it I figured it out.

It didn’t seem like she disliked or hated these people at all, but instead loved them. I mean, how could anyone write so beautifully about someone or something that she hated. She was making a point by using this language........
(....I remember this so clearly, thinking about her tonight , that it seems like last weeks movie.)

I remember it so well because this was a pivotal moment of my understanding things about books and people and writing stories. How words could mean lots of things, sometimes many things all at the same time. I didn’t know it at that moment, but I had just figured out at a much subtler level than I had understood before, writing in metaphor and analogue.I remember thinking I had discovered a secret code that she had written, and I had just broken. I could see it most clearly in my "ghost voice". (that’s what I called reading or thinking to myself silently ... wow I haven’t thought of that phrase in years and years. ) This whole thing was pivotal for me in a lot of ways. I always seemed to know this voice connected me to music but I soon realized that it was integral to every part of me. The who and how and why of me, ALL the time.

When I was young I loved two things, music and reading. When I opened my
mouth to sing love poured out of every part of me and I would float surrounded in it’s awesomeness. When I opened a book I could curl up right into the very pages and the words and my imagination would take me into a universe that was so incredible, everything was possible.

I was too young to conceive that everyone did not feel this way about something in their lives. I was also too young to appreciate how lucky I was too have been given these gifts.Thinking about Eudora, who just recently passed away, reminds me that I always need to listen to my "invisible voice", so that I may find those rarest of gifts that are out there, like secret code to be found.

Posted by Jack at January 21, 2003 03:58 AM