Knock Knock...Who's There???

In which Pooh gets a visitor and a lesson.

I had a rather unexpected house visitor tonight. A bit after 10:30 this evening, I had a knock at my door. I opened it and who should be standing there, but my pizza delivery guy!

Now normally, this would not give cause to raise ones eyebrows, as I have been known to partake of the occasional veggie lovers Za, but in this case I had ordered no pizza, and yet here he was.

(OK stop reading this and go read one of my earlier posts "Give me your Tired and Poor" for any other background you may want.)

My new pizza guy's name is Namvar, he is from Iran and recently moved here with his wife and 2 daughters.

I said hi and said I hadn't ordered a pizza...he nervously laughed a bit and said he knew that, he had just delivered up the street and had seen the lights on and stopped by to say hello, did I remember him!...It was a bit weird him just showing up. I had only met him the one time he delivered to me but I thought, what the heck. So I said, "Sure I remember you Namvar", and invited him in.

I asked about his daughters and how he was doing. He proceeded to talk for about 10 minutes straight. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. (You would think this impossible if you knew me.)

He talked about the war and his job and his life.....and then without taking a breath he asked me if I would like to come to his house and have dinner with he and his wife and children...

Have you ever been listening to someone and then had them say something that you didn't really register right away because it came in out of context or because you just didn't understand them??

Well, that was me……. very impressively looking at him like an ape for about, ohhh 20 minutes or so. (It was probably only about 5 seconds but it sure seemed to me like I had eaten an extra bowl of stupid flakes for dinner and they had chosen that moment to kick in)

Uhhh, I said. Uhhhh Uhhhh mmmmmm huh?
(See? That's me! Verbal.. quick on my feet ... dumb as a box of hair..)

He got all flustered right away and started apologizing for asking ...said he knew we didn't really know each other, and it was too forward to ask, but his family hadn't made many friends here.... No! No! I said as I was trying to pull my head from between my butt cheeks.... I'm sure he thought I was retarded or rude or something...

It would have been funny, but I was afraid I had hurt his feelings....

No! No!

I tried again... Wait! Wait! Please! We were so much like Abbott and Costello doing "Who’s on First?" as we kept blundering into each others words. I finally just started laughing, which got him to stop apologizing and then he started laughing as well. We finally got it worked out so we both understood each other and our reactions to the confusion, but it took like 10 minutes.

End result? I told him I would love to come to his house. So, I am going next Thursday. I am really excited. Namvar seems like a very bright, gentle and interesting guy.

.... After he left I got to thinking how hard communication can be under the best of circumstances.

He and I have met exactly twice and have had problems understanding each other both times. And I don't just mean misunderstanding the language. The intent was misinterpreted as well. Fortunately, we both stuck with each other long enough to work through the initial confusion.

Language, culture and tradition and body language all play such a huge role. Not to mention how much perceived dominance matters. I was aware in our exchange how deferential Namvar was to me. I know our roles would have been completely reversed if I was knocking on his door in Iran.

I really admire his courage. Here he is living in an unfamiliar country, asking a complete stranger over. How many of us could do the same if the situation were reversed? I already like him..... I am looking forward to seeing what he is like, in his house, with his family, on his territory.

Posted by Jack at April 13, 2003 04:34 AM