Merilee

I sang at a funeral today.....Merilee was 13 and died of cancer. I knew her a little. We would chat occasionaly when she was in the youth choir, and I cast her for a part in a musical I directed in December 2001. After I offered her the part, she volunteered that she had cancer and had just gone into remisssion for the third time, but not to worry cause she was not going anywhere for a long, long time....

She later told me she really wanted to be a singer when she grew up. She never got to try, her parents called me on Tuesday and asked if I would sing at the funeral.

At the risk of alienating everyone that doesn't know me, I will tell you that I love to sing at funerals.
No, I am not morbid. Nor goth, maudlin or just an uncaring jerk, or any of the other dark or weird things that might explain away my love of funerals.
Well, maybe love is the wrong word. Appreciate in the deepest way possible, might be better.

In my heart there are only 2 things that can truly ameliorate the emotions that you experience when something terrible happens to someone you loved. And they are love and music. Now before you get all jumping up and down, and calling me an idiot for trying to explicate all of your, or someone else's human emotions to some kind of black and white pavlovian switch.... don't.

Please notice I said in MY heart.

For me, the soul and love in music, can wash us in some kind of healing human compassion. Our reactions to music and love are visceral and true. I feel that with music, we can somehow touch and connect with that part of us that is communal and spiritual. A simple melody can soothe the anguished, and the awesome power of it can draw the tears from your heart. It exposes us to our human honesty.

I love funerals because I can feel the spirit that is present in all of us.
I am not talking about what we think of as religion exactly, I am speaking of our sympathetic human-ness. To be able to take part in that with people when they are hurting, is so powerful and gratifying to me.

She is survived by her Mom and Dad and two older sisters, Ashley, 15 and Chandra, 18. She died after a long struggle.

As I stood at the foot of the coffin and looked down on her, It suddenly dawned on me that I knew something very profound about Merilee. You could tell by how frail and tiny she looked in her coffin, she had, very clearly used up every little bit of herself. Just to try to stay here as long as she possibly could, in this world with the people that loved her and that she loved....

I helped say goodbye to Merilee, by singing Ave Maria and The Lord's Prayer. Don't worry, you will still be around for a long, long time. In all my world's of singing, the one I sang in today means more to me than anything.

Posted by Jack at March 02, 2003 02:23 AM