Hogan Knows Best

Beware. I am about to extoll the virtues of yet another Vh1 show. What entertains me most about "Hogan Knows Best" is that even though Terry (aka Hulk) outdoes my father in terms of bulk, tan, spandex, and facial hair, he seems to have gone to the same school of parenting. Alas, he seems to have managed to outdo him in that category as well. In today's rerun, Hulk noticed his daughter eating a chocolate chip cookie, and took the chance to tell his 16-year-old daughter the following:

"One turns into two. Two turns into three, three turns into four, and four turns into a big back door."

For that alone, Hulk Hogan beats out Steve M*Inerny for the coveted Father of the Year title. Tough luck, Steve-O. You will have a chance to reclaim your title when I come home from December 23-28 by pinching my back fat and asking if I've gained some weight. Which I have.

PS: Once, for my birthday, my dad arranged for me to go to a WWF event, where I was given a Hulk Hogan toothbrush AND tear-away t-shirt. It was soooo cool.