MAGNA CUM LAUDE

The reason that the bathtub wouldn't drain was because the drain was closed. Not with hair and gunk as I had originally thought when I poured a bottle of Liquid Plumber into the tub, but closed as in intentionally meant to let the water pool.

We didn't know this because the drain is controlled by this antiquated level hidden next to the sink. The problem solved itself when I knocked into it and the tub drained itself. Until that exact moment I had no idea that it was even possible to take a bath in our bathtub. Not that I ever would.