Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'm not a hater of girls. In fact, I usually don't like girls who say they hate girls. To me, that signifies that you are probably the worst kind of girl, and therefore I hate you. Still, during a shit-talking lunch session with Galina and Reena, picking apart the wardrobes, personalities, and general appearances of every female we know in common, it hit me: man, I'm terrible.

This thought came out of my mouth as, "I would never be able to date another girl!" to which the Russians responded, "Oh my GOD I know! We'd tear each other to pieces!" Now, I believe that you can fall in love with anyone, regardless of their sex or gender, that love is something that just happens to people who are open to it. That said, the logistics of an actual relationship working out between two women of my disposition are daunting at the very least.

One thing that I like about David, and men in general, is that when I say something like, "I need to wax my eyebrows," his general response is something along the lines of, "what?" If my outfit isn't spot on, if my shoes are totally wrong for the outfit, if I look a little fat in my swimsuit, if I'm generally not the picture of perfection I'm sure that he isn't noticing. Or at the very least he keeps his judgments silent and incredibly undetectable.

God forbid I would end up with a woman even remotely like myself, and we would engage in a lifelong mental battle over eye makeup and push-up bras. I think the constant effort to outfierce each other would end in a murder-suicide involving clutch purses and age-defying moisturizer. A real nightmare. Although, it would be nice to date someone who understands why we don't wear muscle shirts. EVER.