Fun With Taxes, or, Funny Runs In The Family

Today I did my taxes. It only took me 40 minutes, so I'm sure I did it entirely wrong, but that's why I did it through TurboTax, so it could be somebody else's fault. It was kind of fun, though, in the same way that expense reports and excel spreadsheets can be fun. They're like homework. For 17 years I lived and breathed homework, so excuse me if a little part of me still wants to write a paper after I finish a book, or fill out little circles with a #2 pencil. David had fetched the instruction booklets from the library, and even though I never read instruction booklets, I did sniff this one to get a hint of that standardized test scent.

Part of my tax homework involved going down to the office on a Saturday to print my 2004 State Income Tax forms. Yeah, 2004. If you know me you know that I don't turn in anything late. In college, my papers were written days before they were due, and even if the professor granted an extension, I wouldn't need it. I would rather not turn something in at all than turn it in late, but apparently that's not an option when it comes to taxes.

I'm unsure as to how my 2004 state taxes went unpaid. I'll say this: it's my mother's fault. Well, not entirely. I guess she was part of The Great Telefile Debauchle of 2004, and therefore I was as well. Like others, her corner-cutting had repercussions, and she has since been fired from her role as official Accountant and Archivist for Nora, Inc. I wouldn't be a middle child if I didn't take this moment to point out that she lost her position as archivist when she threw away the following things:

1) My goose lamp
2) My Velveteen Rabbit framed poster
3) My winter jacket. In winter.
4) My red boots. Worn once. Quite hot.
5) My Beatrix Potter figurine (which she gave to my niece. Why? Because my niece is a baby and totally knows that she received a gift. Which was mine first, anyway).

So here I am, in the office on a Saturday, trying to figure out if I have to fill in lines 12-14 and how to calculate lines 33-38 and how on Earth anybody could do this for a living and not swallow a bottle of White-Out and end it all, when my phone rings.

It's Meggie. She's in California with Beatrix and Jeremy and she's so excited. She has news. She's pregnant again. my mind is racing with thoughts of another Wee Wilker with a face this cute. I can't believe it, I mean she just pushed out a baby! I'm not a doctor, but wow, that was quick!

And what a funny April Fool's Joke it was.

Consider us even.