Bishop Allen and The Kelly Affair

On Friday night, we had some special guests in Astoria…Tony and Sarah dropped in from Ohio (turns out they were only 10 hours away this WHOLE TIME) and we went to see Bishop Allen at Pianos.

Had I heard of Bishop Allen? No. Did I love their concert? Yes. So what was so special? I would start with the fact that the lead singer looks so effortlessly cool wearing his CORDUROY JACKET IN JULY that you can’t help but like anything that comes out of his mouth, particularly with that superhot broken front tooth. That’s also a nice touch. I would then add that the rotating use of instruments, some duct-taped together, also added some awesome. Finally, the humor and self-awareness that comes with realizing that 12 albums in a year is a lot of songs and some of them are only going to be 45 seconds long.

Their sound is pretty rad, too. They rock you gently, rock you slowly, but are totally capable of rocking your face off. They’re recording one EP a month for a whole year, so we showed up to see June performed. It was quiet and thoughtful and introspective but also really, really fun. Like Ben Folds only without all the suckiness. Their “Butterfly Nets” has been in my head continuously since the show, I think it’s the ukelele. And the whimsy.

But what really, really made my night was the opening band. The Kelly Affair had me at “This song is about a total douche bag!” and yes, a lot of their songs were about douche bags and we all know how much I hate douche bags.

Truth be told, I couldn’t hear much of the lyrics over the drums, but that was largely unimportant because this band is just so fucking cool. These are the kind of girls that guys want to make out with in the darkened corner of the bar, the kind of girls who are imitated by Urban Outfitters employees, who know how to wear last night’s black eyeliner and make it look awesome, who are cooler and hipper than everyone you know, but don’t even care.

After about 15 seconds it was clear that these were the girls I wanted to be. I WANT TO BE ONSTAGE WEARING A CERULEAN STRETCHY TUBE DRESS and awesome pumps, wailing on a guitar without looking like I’m even trying. Or just rocking the drums without messing up my hair. Or even just playing the tambourine. I could totally bang the shit out of the tambourine for those girls.

Anyway, this guy I know totally had the hots for the bassist. I was planning on saying hi to her and telling her that I know this guy she totally has to meet, you know, being the wing-man. But when I got within 3 feet I lost all my nerve, she was simply TOO COOL and I couldn’t do it.

Lest you think that I am being too complimentary, that there is no way that the opening act could have left such an impression on me, let me tell you that I wasn't alone in this sentiment: they rocked one guy into doing the lawnmower, the shopping cart, and a modified Russian kick, none of which were appropriate, all of which were hilarious.