United Airlines to Nora: Go Jam Yourself (Part III)
You know what's fun? Spending hours on hold listening to Gershwin. Fricking Gershwin? SERIOUSLY?!
I guess it takes a long way to call Customer Service when IT'S IN INDIA! The Customer Service representatives are "named" Sean, Brandon, and Stacey. They're helpful, but there's a billion miles between us and I'm not sure if they're joking when they tell me that my bags are in Chicago, no Denver, no Ontario.
Merry Christmas! Want to spend 3 hours in the car driving to get my bag? ME TOO! This is awesome, nobody is at the lost luggage office. Oh HELLLLL NAW.
Hand out presents in the car.
Dad is sick. The desert is kind of cold. Times flies, time to leave. Oh shit, it's gonna snow in Denver again. Back on the phone. Hello Stacey, can I fly through another city? Sure, Nora, just stay on hold for an hour.
Wake at dawn, off to San Francisco.
There's an open seat next to me. Awesome guy with a beard and skinny jeans sits down. We get to talking. He's going to New York too. Tells me the plane is stopping in Charlotte. HUH? Okay, fine. Guy is in a band, off to Germany for a few weeks, staying in Brooklyn tonight.
Talk talk talk through the flight. This is fun. I didn't know I could be so familiar with strangers, make friends so easily through transportation. The world is a wonderful place again.
Wait for baggage. Where's mine? Gone. Of course. Wait in line.
Share cab to Brooklyn, grab birthday drinks with my roommate and my new BFF.
Happy Birthday. 24 is my year.
American Airlines lost our bags at Laguardia this morning. I went through all the funny automated phone service bullshit too. Apparently "Warfield" is just too much of a vowel-heavy word for the computer on the other line to process. Or even "Kennedy" for that matter. We made up last names like "Shit" and "Big Boi" just so we could jam the thing and actually talk to a human voice. They had to search our bags to verify, which meant we had to tell them very specifically some of the contents. Unfortunately none of us were checking blue latex dildos with anal ticklers and half-empty bottles of KY Jelly.
What was I thinking when I was complaining about the Anti-Semitic, Fascists at Disney World?
Clearly flying is the NEW HELL.
24 is your year, baby!
Happy Birthday! Your year is off to a great start. It's bound to improve. Or at least continue to be interesting...maybe your year for meeting new guys.
I could have a new career writing the notes in fortune cookies, don't you think?