Is it even worth mentioning? It was rather peculiar so I guess it might. Ok...
I was coming home from a late night at work (seems to be the norm these past few days) and had taken the scenic route and then decided it would be wise to stop at the grocery store and get some bread so I wouldn't have to do it in the morning. No problem.
Lots of traffic around when I attempt to leave the parking lot and some delays in getting on to the street I want but finally I see a clearing and decide to pull into the first of three lanes of traffic.
At that same exact moment a little old scruffy guy, not very reflective, decides to run out into traffic in the middle of the block -- and right in front of my car. I abort my spurt into the street and slam on my brakes. He stops suddenly in front of my bumper, hand extended towards me in a 'stop' motion -- and he proceeds to start cussing up a storm! "Mumbley jumbley fucker gumbo pancake fucking seeing didn't walrus fuck you!" (Well, that's what it sorta sounded like inside my car).
So I opened my window to speak to the foul-mouthed, grungy old fellow and he doesn't stop cussing. Traffic is building up behind me and my mind is racing... what to say? how to respond? Finally I blurt out, "Were you in the cross-walk?!? No!" and drive off.
Duh. Man, I swear, I never come up with the really good stuff until 2 minutes too late. I mean, in this case it probably wasn't necessary anyway as it was nobody's fault and nothing happened except maybe an increase in heart rate. No doubt you could come up with a snappier comeback... but can you do it under pressure?