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so, those of you who know me understand that I don't drink alcohol all that often and I think one of the main reasons (besides not really liking the taste of beer) is that I'm hyper-aware of how my body feels and reacts to things at any given moment in a day and having the knowledge or high-level awareness (or whatever you want to call it) of the depressant and relinquishing-of-control effect of alcohol really unsettles me. I tend to desire complete control over my body at all times and not having it tends to make me a bit freaked out. I think this is the main reason I don't drink. not because I don't like the flavor or the effect, but because I am not fully in control of my self. yet I tend to protest against structure... and yet I love the taste of sambuca... analysis?

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